Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

MIDWEEK HEADLINES
Risborough Rangers clocked up their 50th consecutive unbeaten league game (dating back from 2019) although these are not inclusively SSML games. Stotfold hit opponents Thame United Reserves for ten (their best result in the SSML) to take their impressive form to 27 goals from last five league games. Arlesey Town continue to impress new manager Martin Standen this time hitting five on the road at London Colney.

Midweek brought about 56 goals from the 10 games (an average of 5.60 per game). Ashley Kersey (Stotfold) and Henry Snee (Shefford Town & Campton) led the way with four goal hauls while Charlie Moss (Arlesey Town), Aaron Cormack (Rushden & Higham United) and Jonathan McNamara (Shefford Town & Campton) netting hat tricks.

Midweek Stats: 10 games played of which 3 were home wins, 5 away wins and 2 draws.

Without A League Draw to date: Aston Clinton, Codicote, Eynesbury United, Old Bradwell United, Risborough Rangers Development and The 61FC (Luton).

Without A League Defeat to date: Risborough Rangers.

Midweek Highest Attendances: 371 Ampthill Town v Bedford, 253 Holmer Green v Risborough Rangers and 225 Arlesey Town v Baldock Town.

Season’s Highest Attendances to date (Premier Division Clubs): 473 Leighton Town v Broadfields United, 449 Leighton Town v Aylesbury Vale Dynamos and 435 Dunstable Town v Leighton Town.

Season’s Highest Attendances to date (Division One Clubs): 392 Stotfold v Bedford, 371 Ampthill Town v Bedford and 317 Stotfold v Letchworth Garden City Eagles.

Season’s Highest Attendances to date (Division Two Clubs): 212 Bovingdon v Totternhoe, 175 Bovingdon v Berkhamsted Raiders and 134 Totternhoe v Leighton Town (Gladwish Challenge Trophy).

Monday 27th December / Tuesday 28th December / Thursday 30th December

PREMIER DIVISION
The title race got a little more interesting on Saturday, leaders Risborough Rangers extended their unbeaten league run to 50 games with a 4-1 home success against Oxhey Jets (you have to go back to the 9th April 2019 for their last league defeat, 0-1 at Winslow United) while New Salamis moved to within a point of second placed Leighton Town with a 3-0 win at Ardley United. Bottom club Crawley Green were well beaten at Hadley, Tring Athletic the hosts winning 5-0 while Arlesey Town got off to a flyer with a goal after just 19 seconds at London Colney before going on to totally control the game finally winning 5-1. The day’s other action saw 201 packed into Creasey Park where Dunstable Town and Flackwell Heath battled out a 1-1 draw. Full results and goalscorers are listed below.

2-2 Arlesey Town v Baldock Town (Sayer [2]) / (Hay, Turner) Attendance: 225
0-4 New Salamis v Hadley (Edwards, Alfano, Ofori, Opponent Own Goal) Attendance: 90
2-3 Tring Athletic v Leverstock Green (Smith [pen], Mannion) / (Siemienczuk, Lawford, Seale) Attendance: 183
0-6 Holmer Green v Risborough Rangers (Mealing [3] [1 pen], Urquhart, Patrick, Wyllie) Attendance: 253

DIVISION ONE
Saturday’s Division One league programme saw all eight fixtures result in home wins. Stotfold remain top as their recent high scoring form continued with a 10-2 hammering over visiting Thame United Reserves while in the day’s big game (3rd v 4th) Ampthill Town edged out visiting Wellingborough Whitworth by a solitary goal. Goals were certainly on the menu as the eight fixtures produced 49 of them, Shefford Town & Campton were in ‘seventh heaven’ as they cast aside visiting bottom club Irchester United 7-3 (Snee and McNamara sharing the hosts goals between themselves) while the new owner of Bedford (Peter McCormack) could only look on as his recently acquired club were beaten 1-6 at Northampton Sileby Rangers. Elsewhere London Tigers eased any relegation fears with a 5-0 win at home against Kidlington Reserves while Penn & Tylers Green saw off visiting Raunds Town 5-1. The day’s other action saw Rushden & Higham United squeeze past Long Crendon, the hosts winning 3-2 while Langford edged out Burton Park Wanderers by the odd goal un three. Full results and goalscorers (where known) are listed below.

3-2 Penn & Tylers Green v Thame United Reserves (Hancock [2], Blount) / (Unknown) Attendance: 57
1-1 Ampthill Town v Bedford (Unknown) / (Unknown) Attendance: 371
2-4 Letchworth Garden City Eagles v Langford (Unknown) / (Odell, Basra, Younger, Lincoln?) Attendance: 117
7-4 Long Crendon v Kidlington Reserves (O Lethbridge [2], Warwick, Hawkes, Brownsword, Pettingell, Simpson) / (Unknown) Attendance: 142

DIVISION TWO
Eynesbury United moved up to second place level on points with leaders Old Bradwell United (who were inactive) as they overcame visiting Sarratt 3-0. At the bottom of the table The 61FC (Luton) picked up three points with a 2-1 home success against Risborough Rangers Development while bottom club Tring Corinthians AFC recorded their fifth successive league defeat when going down at home to Totternhoe by the odd goal in Bovingdon three. The day’s other action saw Berkhamsted Raiders defeat visiting Buckingham United 3-2. Full results and goalscorers are listed below.

2-6 Risborough Rangers Development v Pitstone & Ivinghoe (Lamboh, Lewis) / (Nevitt, Gallant, Hall, Downes, Churchill, Devine) Attendance: 62
3-2 Totternhoe v The 61FC (Luton) (Horgan [pen], Woolaway, Butler) / (Lewis, Griffin) Attendance: 71

COMMITTEE AWAYDAYS
Dave Henman was at Ampthill Town on Tuesday and pens the following-
This was one of those games that turned into an absolute cracker, which neither side deserved to lose. Bedford shaded the first half, whilst Ampthill shaded the second. On an excellent pitch, which didn't even require a pitch inspection, from the off both sides were intent on attack. Both sides played a patient passing game, and the quality displayed belied the fact that this was Division One of our League, which in all honesty would've graced the Southern, or Isthmian League. The opening goal was a long time coming, but eventually arrived in the 32nd minute which put the visitors ahead. A long ball was hoisted into the Ampthill penalty area when CHISOM AMADI outmuscled Glenn Cooksley and squeezed a shot in by the near post and custodian Ross Tompkins. As the second half began Ampthill went for the jugular from the off and their determination was rewarded by a 50th minute equalizer. From a corner JAMIE CERMINARA rose highest and guided his header into the far corner of the net giving the keeper no chance. Despite chances at both ends there was no further score mainly due the the heroics of both keepers, ably supported by both defences. As a non-referee I thought the young ref - Toby Carlisle - had an excellent game. Both Ampthill and Bedford officials were of the same opinion. Even one of the Ampthill players - who incidentally was booked - agreed with me. The game was played in an excellent spirit, and even though there were 7 bookings - 3 for cynical obstructions, but none of them were disputed, so respect marks should be very good. As an added bonus the crowd was a whopping 371, which is a financial bonus to Ampthill's coffers! As a final note, although I doubt that either team pay their players, the determination and effort displayed by both teams was an absolute credit to both clubs.

AND FINALLY
It seems that matters on the field are not the only things managers have to worry about to keep their jobs Kilmarnock manager Tommy Wright has been sacked following his sides game with Dunfermline Athletic was abandoned due to fog (He obviously didn’t see that coming). Mind you it still has a long way to go to beat the dismissal of Sunderland manager Malcolm Crosby who was sacked after a defeat on the pools panel following the game with Tranmere Rovers being called off several years ago.

May I take this opportunity to wish a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my avid reader (I’m sure I have one person that reads this rubbish).